Ok! So the 9-week journey has come to a dramatic end and now the hard part begins….the relationship. ABC doesn’t have the BEST reputation for finding love in 9 weeks for people BUT to their credit they do have some success and I think this will be another win.
In fact, last night reminded me of why we LOVE this show so much. Because Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray are really perfect together. No one has to pack up and move 2000 miles, no one lives in a 3 bedroom apartment with their mom and dad. There are no children to complicate matters. They are just a brand new couple with no real baggage to overcome.
As I said before I think we were all thinking in the beginning that Andi would end up with a Jewish Doctor, but instead she fell in love with a Catholic baseball player (although Josh is now a Financial Planning Advisor).
So will it work?
The funny thing is the last time I did an Enneagram breakdown of a relationship it was another 6-1 combo and I said they were actually quite compatible.
Andi Dorfman is an Enneagram 1, no question. In fact I knew that in Juan Pablo’s season. Her compulsion to over analyze everything is very uno. Not to mention she is very preoccupied with doing the right thing. So she is easy. She is a solid One.
Josh on the other hand is a 6, the Loyalist. I know one of Andi’s big concerns is that another pro athlete would cheat on her, but she does not have to worry about that with Josh. He is fiercely loyal. In fact Sixes are loyal to a fault even. They want family, safety and security more than anything else.
So let’s start with Josh.
Josh Murray: Enneagram 6, The Loyalist
The Enneagram Institute call this type “The Loyalist,” because Sixes are the most loyal to their friends and to their beliefs.
- Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance
- Basic Desire: To have security and support
Key Motivations: “[Sixes] want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity.”
Josh will make Andi his priority. Family is the biggest priority to the 6. The 3 on the other hand (Nick Viall) will always have serious commitment issues. They have “the grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome and tend to be the biggest cheaters.
I thought it was sweet and mature that Josh did not rake Andi over the coals for sleeping with Nick (Remember how Emily Maynard did that to Brad Womack). Instead he stood by her.
But their loyalty is their best and their worst quality. Sixes will often hang on to a relationship way longer than they should–like after they have been cheated on. I suspect Josh stayed with the girl who cheated on him.
A common problem for Sixes is that they don’t cut ties with exes. This may be why Josh was allegedly texting his ex girlfriend Brittany McCord. If that story is true then it’s likely that they are really JUST friends.
They can also have problems with autonomy and competitiveness and arrogance and pessimism but when healthy they become more relaxed, optimistic and autonomous.
Personally, I like the descriptions of the Enneagram institute. I do not however trust their test. I just tell people when you find your number you will know–forget the tests.
“Sixes are the most loyal to their friends and to their beliefs. They will “go down with the ship” and hang on to relationships of all kinds far longer than most other types. Sixes are also loyal to ideas, systems, and beliefs—even to the belief that all ideas or authorities should be questioned or defied.”
“Indeed, not all Sixes go along with the “status quo”: their beliefs may be rebellious and anti-authoritarian, even revolutionary. In any case, they will typically fight for their beliefs more fiercely than they will fight for themselves, and they will defend their community or family more tenaciously than they will defend themselves.”
Andi Dorfman: Enneagram 1, The Reformer
As far as Bachelorette Andi Dorfman is concerned…she is a classic One– The Perfectionist, The Reformer, The Crusader. They are like a voice of reason, very honest, ethical, crusaders, they are natural teachers, wise and discerning– they can be morally heroic–so her job as a gang prosecutor makes perfect sense. She is preoccupied with justice and righting the wrongs in the world.
According to Understanding the Enneagram: The Practical Guide to Personality Types (revised edition) by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson the One is described as follows:
“At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, noble and morally heroic.”
- Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective
- Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced
Key Motivations: “Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.”
As with all the numbers their strength is also their weakness. The 1 can be overly judgmental and resentful, critical and perfectionistic when not healthy. They will focus on all the things that could go wrong.
But when they are good they are excellent crusaders for justice and for others. They are also incredibly loyal.
Ok so what happens when a 1 and a 6 date:
Well the two are very similar, very ethical, committed to their ideals and will fight to the end for those they care about. They are both extremely hard workers, driven, conscientious, and have a strong sense of duty and honor especially towards work and family. In a relationship the two would be extremely loyal and committed to one another.
Both numbers want security and certainty which is why Josh was in such a hurry to get married. Sixes are looking for a life partner, a best friend. And Ones crave certainty. They need constant reassurance because they are filled with anxiety.
They are more sure of themselves and their opinions than Sixes tend to be, so
Ones often serve as the leader in a One-Six relationship since they are more sure of themselves and their opinions than Sixes tend to be.
Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
Ones can become critical and judgmental of everyone including themselves and
their partner. Ones often feel others are not “trying hard enough” ultimately because they never think THEY are trying hard enough.
So she could come down on Josh at some point if she doesn’t feel he is “trying hard enough” which ultimately breeds resentment.
And if Andi starts to do that, Josh (Six) could become increasingly emotionally reactive and insecure since the Six is looking for the One to be a rock of stability.
Andi has to be careful about being too critical of Josh or it will drive him deeper into feelings of anxiety and insecurity.
But the two differ in all the right ways.
One’s need someone who will not over analyze everything (this is why things between her and Nick would never work). Josh is an excellent Yin to her Yang. He will just make decisions without endless perseveration and she needs that.
Ones can also be overly critical and judgmental at times and Sixes are not.
Ones bring a strong sense of clarity and reason and can provide great moral guidance and support to the 6.
Sixes are solid partners. Josh will be solid as a rock, loyal, faithful and extremely endearing. He will be warm and generous and emotionally available with Andi. The two together would make a very steady and dynamic couple.