‘The Bachelorette Season 8’ episode 5 recap: Your faves weigh in

Sorry for the delayed recap of recaps this week, folks. What an episode! In fact, because the entire Internet fell in love with Jef “One F” Holm this week, I had to create an entire, unofficial “Jef Holm is a Dreamboat” fan page to showcase some of the crazy tributes fans are posting for him out there on the Interwebs. It’s nuts! It’s also interesting to note that while a lot of women viewers are all “awww, cute” about Jef, it’s mostly teenage girls that seem to be swooooning over him (hence, the world of epileptic seizure-inducing animated “I love you, Jef” gifs out there!).

Before we get to what some of your fave former contestants and fan bloggers had to say about this week’s episode, here are some things of note, from my perspective, from this week:

1) Sean Lowe, although VERY sweet, isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed (I don’t think he recognized any of the famous buildings he was passing by on his double decker bus tour of London)

2) Ryan Bowers likes to rock a MAN SCARF (The Man Scarf might need to become a separate SITUATION post of its own. Not even just in relation to The Bachelorette…just in general. Situation Alert!)

3) Kalon McMahon, as I said in this post earlier this week, is and will continue to be a DOUCHEBAG

4) Jef Holm is FUNNY! His comment about how Jane the etiquette teacher was really, really, really, really, really, really thorough was the best. As was his witty remark about how if Little Rickie were to be baggage, she’d be a Chloe handbag that he’d want to take everywhere (not the most manly of retorts, but cute because he was speaking his woman’s language and it made her laugh and feel better)

5) Emily, although hot for a second when she booted Kalon, became a bit LAME, once again, when she decided she needed to GRILL all the guys, yet again, and really come down on them for not stepping up and telling her about Kalon sooner — a topic which we discuss in even greater detail in this post

We can’t wait till next week!


From the Bachelorette herself, Emily Maynard: “I don’t know what to say about the group date other than I’m disappointed for so many reasons.

I’m disappointed in Kalon for letting his hurt ego cause him to say such hurtful things that no mother should ever hear. I’m confident that if I had I shown him more attention, he never would’ve said those things, but I’m glad I didn’t because it let me see his true colors.

For so long, Kalon had been so condescending to me and everyone else in the house, but I know what it’s like to be misunderstood and I didn’t want to be one of those people that wrote him off before really making an effort to get to know him.

I still to this day haven’t received an apology of any sort, and that to me is the most telling of all. Looking back, I should’ve sent him home the second he told me not to interrupt him, but I guess it’s a good lesson learned. Ladies, always follow your gut!

I’ve always believed that you should pray for those that hurt you, and as hard as it is sometimes I hope that Kalon has learned from this whole experience, realized how hurtful his words can be, and hopefully will be kinder in the future no matter how badly his ego has been bruised.

Read more from Emily Maynard at….


From show host Chris Harrison: “The funny thing is later that night when Emily and I talked she felt a little bad about how mad she got and the language she used. I told her she had no idea how impressive that display was and how amazed the guys were by her tenacity. What the guys weren’t expecting though, is how upset Emily was at them for not stepping up and defending her.

Emily’s final date this week was with Jef. He has intrigued her from the start, but she really needed him to step up and show her more on this date. The two of them always have great conversation but the chemistry and passion between them has been lacking. Emily told me later she thought for sure that when they paused at the top of the London Eye that he would go in for the first kiss but once again, he didn’t. Finally at the very end of their date they shared their first kiss, and now the plot thickens as another man has stepped up among the favorites.

One last person we have to mention this week is Ryan. No doubt many of you will be talking about him this week. Emily seemed to have his number and have him all figured out, but damn if she isn’t falling prey to his charms. There’s definitely a side to her that likes the bad boy and it appears he might fit that bill. Ryan has been very generous about giving us bits of wisdom, and this week was no different. So, as we say farewell to Alejandro and London and head off to Croatia I leave you with my favorite Ryan-ism of the week: “When a girl tells you you’re trouble and she smiles when she says it, I think sometimes she wants to get in trouble.”

Read more from Chris Harrison at….


From Ben Flajnik’s season, Kacie Boguskie: “JEF (with one f): I’m really excited to see some more of Jef.  He seems like a really chill dude so I wanna see how these two mesh together.  This date starts off, and I’m dying… this 2-on-1 date with Jean (the manners Nazi), Jef, and Emily is cracking me up.  I’m so glad they ditched her and went out for a real time.  Going to the Pub and having fish and chips is so real, and Jef seems to be opening up.  Jef seems so cool and chill, he’s not someone I’d date, but would love to dance party with.  He is def sweet and genuine and deep… I’m digging him, and it seems Emily is too now.  By the end of this date I think she has gotten some of her confidence back! Thank goodness, because you can’t get this far and start questioning yourself. Way to go Jef!”

Read more from Kacie Boguskie at Bachelor.TV….


From Jillian Harris’ season and Bachelor Pad 1, Dave Good: “WOW!  Kalon is venting to the guys and say’s the “Emily has a lot of baggage.”  The guys do not take well to this.  Doug pulls Kalon aside and asked him if he actually said that.  Kalon confirms it.  Doug takes the initiative to go and tell Emily and Emily confronts Kalon and loses it on him and this is well deserved in my eyes.  She asked Kalon if what the guys said is true and he admitted to it.  Emily looks at Kalon and say’s “then get the f#ck out!”  BOOM.  That is how you handle that!  Done, later, bye!

Emily is then upset with the guys, which I don’t understand. I think Emily is wrong to tell the guys that she is upset someone did not tell her. Nothing crazy had come up until Kalon said that. Guys have to wait until it is confirmed before they go rat on someone. They were not wrong. Doug did say something so no reason to freak out like she is.

Emily is so upset she does not even give a rose out on the group date.  I know she is upset but I really think she is in the wrong.  What are your thoughts on this?  Being on the show before she should know what a bad position that can turn into ratting on someone without the proper backup.  I just personally think it has to be very severe to rat and when it reached that point Doug did step in so no reason to get so upset.”

Read more from Dave Good at Bachelor.TV….


From Jason Mesnick’s season and Bachelor Pad 1, Natalie Getz: “Emily and Jef:  Talk about making out!  No seriously, they talked about it.

These two looked as bored as I felt while watching them hang out with Jean.  WOW.  They humorously left and got a beer at a near by pub.  Next, they take a ride in the London Eye.  Scary!  But, super cool.

Jef’s sweet lines:

1.)  ”If Ricki is baggage, then she is a Chloe handbag and I want to carry her everywhere.”

2.)  ”The party wouldn’t stop!  You’d come home to me and Ricki having a dance party singing into brushes.”

3.)  ”I just want someone to share the details with.  Unconditional love, like a best friend.”

4.)  ”I want to be best friends with you. Someone I can completely trust.”

5.)  ”I really want the rose, but more importantly, I want Emily.  I want Emily.”

6.)  ”Emily gives me the feeling that I’m living in a fairy tale.”

They have such a nerdy, awkward first kiss! AWW!  He talked about it before her did it, how stinkin’ cute!  These two are so adorable!”

Read more from Natalie Getz at Bachelor.TV….


From former Bachelorette Ashley Hebert: “Here comes the cherry on the top. Jef finally gets a one-on-one date, and as soon as I see him, I just know things are going to get good. I’ve said from the beginning that Jef reminded me of JP. They are both level-headed, calm, cool, and genuine. Plus, he was wearing the same blazer that JP loves to wear! He has such great style! The first part of the date was an etiquette class, and they were both not having it. They were ready to get to know each other better, but instead they were moving around tea kettles to point in the proper direction. I am so glad they walked out of this. Snooze fest! When dinner rolls around, I find myself alone in my bedroom, smiling at the screen bigger than I have all season. This is a match in my eyes. Jef may seem a bit young, but I think it’s because he has a laid back persona, and looks a bit young. This doesn’t mean he is not ready for a serious relationship. Overall, Jef seems so genuine, mature, smart, and has his life priorities in line. He has a good head on his shoulders, but also has that extra “edge” that I believe Emily needs: the skateboard, the great style, interesting career, and fun hair. I rarely remember the specifics of what Emily and her men talk about over dinner, but I can’t help but remember a couple of Jef’s thoughts: He wants to find someone to “share the details with,” and he wants to have dance parties with Ricki while Emily is not home. I got goose bumps watching it, and I just got goose bumps reliving it in my head. When I saw Jef get down on one knee and propose to Miss Piggy, I got these same feelings. How sweet was it when he said this was the most anticipated kiss of his life. I think Jef is the one for Emily. ”

From former Bachelorette Jillian Harris: “I really loved Doug tonight.  I have noticed him a few times this season but tonight he showed a really sexy and sensitive side, which is a rare combination. I’m excited to see how his relationship with Emily evolves as the season progresses.

There are a few other front-runners that stick out to me. I thought Sean’s date was cute, but I’m still not totally sold. I still really heart Arie. I’m not sure if he’s ready for the whole package, but I sense a truly genuine connection between the two of them and they’re really adorable together. His salt and pepper hair doesn’t hurt either! And then there’s Jef. I really hate to say this but I think Jef is one of those “nice guys finish last” guys. If we were smart—and I’m sure most of you ladies are—we’d all fall for a Jef. I’d bet serious dough that he would make the best dad, husband and friend. But sadly, I’m not sure if he’ll make the cut with Emily. We’ll just have to wait and see!”

From former Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky: “I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Jef with one F is the man! I love that they bounced on their “tea time” date and went to a pub instead. It made the date seem so much more real.

OK, what I am about to say is going to throw a lot of people. Here it goes – Emily isn’t into Jef with one F (sad face). Why do I think this? She keeps saying “our relationship is slow to develop.” Hate to say it, but that’s what you say about a guy who you’re not into or a guy who you are just better friends with. That is EXACTLY what I said about Chris L on my season. Don’t get me wrong, Chris is an awesome guy, but we were just friends. The romance was never really there. So I don’t care if Jef makes it to the top 4, 3, or even the top 2! I just don’t think Emily is feeling it, nor do I think she will. In the “real” world, relationships develop slowly all the time, but not in Bachelorette world. You just don’t have the time to take it slow. Could I be wrong and Emily ends up with Jef with one F? Of course. It’s just what my gut tells me. That said, I do think Jef is super into Emily. He said that the way he feels about her is what “they write fairy tales about.” How cute is that?! Next Bachelor? He’s got my vote.”

Read more from Ali Fedotowsky at….


From Stacey B of the I Love The Bachelor / Bachelorette Blog: “I love a good Bachelorette villain. The kind that makes us drop our mouths after horrible words come flying out with absolutely no filter or care in the world.  Since the second he flew in on a helicopter, we knew Kalon was trouble. Not the same kind of trouble as Ryan, who is flirtacious, enjoys toying with Emily and thinks he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.  I mean real trouble – the kind who wears designer button down shirts under a designer half zip sweater and loves to gel up his hair in a wavy, self-important way.  Everything about Kalon just feels snobbish.  He’s the guy you expect to run into at an exclusive golf club, with a pastel sweater thrown over his shoulders and an iced lemonade with a little umbrella drink always on hand.  I think we were all pretty convinced before last night that he was not a good match for Emily.  But then he starts talking Ricki baggage and we know it’s going to get ugly.  Ahhh, at least the “bad guy” is done.  Now we just have to worry about Ryan.”

From Ashley, the blogger behind The Bachelor Expert: “Kalon got the boot and was sent home in a van. I don’t think he was upset that he got sent home, but that he didn’t get to stop at Burberry on his way to the airport. No one got the group rose. To play Devil’s advocate, it has absolutely never benefited anyone to rat on another person. The best example: Ben telling Emily O’Brien to “tread lightly,” when warning him about Courtney. Jake still chose Vienna, even though Ali warned him about her. The lead usually takes it as a personality conflict, when someone doesn’t like another person. I believe the situation is different with Emily, but it just hasn’t helped in the past.”

Read more at….


From Lincee of “Okay people. Here’s what we know so far:

1. Sean needs to work on making sure his memorized scripted lines sound more natural when “spontaneously” lecturing the good people of London on the delicate intricacies when it comes to matters of the heart.

2. I need one of those cute white coats with the pink sash.

3. Shakespeare is HUGE in Madison, Mississippi.

4. Ryan is a d-bag.

5. I’d be willing to bet that one of the people in Emily’s entourage is the official blanket carrier.

6. One F Jef is undoubtedly the clone of [insert lovable character from 80s movie here]

7. Mess with Emily or Little Ricki and she’ll go West Virginia, hood rat, back woods on your a$$.”

Read more at….


From Dana Weiss, aka Possessionista:

Emily’s white studded dress and leather jacket on the group date
Dress:  Gomez Gracia
Leather Jacket: All Saints
Screencap courtesy of Jokers Update

Copyright Possessionista Media, LLC

Read more at….


From blogger Knox McCoy: “Back from commercial and Maynard says a bunch of stupid stuff about doubting life and love and everything. One F Jef shows up looking like a Brooks Brothers model. Her date with One F is an afternoon Tea that turns out to be an etiquette class. BOR-ING. This show was already terrible. Now it’s about English etiquette? THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE. It’s like they are wanting to see how many people will still watch this show when they make it awful and center it around a person who has the personality of not-so-freshly cut grass.

The Etiquette instructer goes to use the loo or WC or something and Maynard agrees that her date idea is the WORST ever and Etiquette Instructor comes back wondering if One F and Maynard disaparated or something. At a pub, One F orders them Fish and Chips and Maynard is like OMG how did you know that I was considering ordering the signature dish of an entire nation?

One F and Maynard are talking about how boring Kalon’s life must be because he wasn’t enthralled with Maynard’s daughter and I’m like I don’t know, you guys, he DID fly in on a chopper.

One F drops an obscure luggage reference in an analogy to how awesome Maynard’s daughter is or something and it’s super lost on me but I guess it works because Maynard is like Yes. Totally. My daughter is like a superficial commodity that can be bought, sold, or used to help form an opinion about me in general.”


From blogger Lost Angeles: “Had the Bachelorette existed in the 1700s (apparently just after Filibuster believes Shakespeare was writing, sweet Jesus), our forefathers would have had it so much easier.  There is no way after seeing the travelling shitshow we call “entertainment” that they’d have fought so long and hard to retain the colonies.  I mean, truly, after watching this group tour London I am positive, the Redcoats wouldn’t have been coming, they’d be leaving.

The hardest part for me about this episode, besides everything that happened during it, was listening to Lady Veneers pretend to give a shit about London and recite the same 3 lines about William and Kate getting married.  Look.  London is one of my favorite cities.  They managed to shoot there on the 5 days a year it is not grey and foreboding.  That was misleading because while London’s foggy gloom usually foreshadows a wicked hangover for wild bucks like me, in this case it would serve a fair warning to Lady Veneers:  THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL FOR YOU.”

Read more on the Lost Angeles blog….

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