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BiP episode 1: A wedding, a boob job, a sibling tag team, a Playboy and an ambulance

Last night on episode 1 of Bachelor in Paradise Bachelor and Bachelorette cast-offs headed to the Playa Escondida Resort in Sayulita Mexico to search for life-partners in 3 weeks.

The season begins with the arrivals: Ashley Salter, Tanner Tolbert, Jade Roper, Jillian Anderson, Juelia Kinney, Tenley, Carly Waddell, Jared Haibon, Jonathon Holloway, Mikey Tenerelli, and sister team Ashley and Lauren.

Ashley Salter REALLY likes farm animals. Jillian Anderson got a boob job so she could show them off to her “man buffet”, Tenley is feeling a little insecure since it’s been 5 years since she has starred on a Bachelor franchise show—I love that now you can make a full-time career out of starring on Bachelor/Bachelorette shows. She is also clearly upset that ex-boyfriend Kiptyn Locke is currently having a baby with his new girlfriend Samm Murphy.

26-year-old Ashley Iaconetti shocks everyone by bringing a sibling. Everyone is upset that sister Lauren is not part of the franchise and not playing by the rules! But not to worry, it does not appear that Lauren is even remotely interested in meeting anyone!ashley-n-sis

Ashley is of course a virgin but sister Lauren is not and she lets everyone know right away that she is “the opposite of a virgin” which I am not sure you want to announce on national TV. Then Lauren claims that she is going to basically hit and run.

When Mikey Tenerelli arrived from Desiree’s season he immediately tells the guys that he will get them “jacked up” in 3 weeks so they can look like him. He keeps reiterating that he is an “alpha-male”. So he is not at the top of anyone’s list.

Mikey is immediately attracted to Lauren Iaconetti and asks her if she would “like to go in the ocean”, which we all know now means have sex. Lauren very reluctantly obliges to go for a dip—just a dip—no sex.

So after everyone arrives Chris Harrison invites them to a wedding…..the surprise wedding of season one stars Marcus Grodd and Lacy Faddoul who met and fell in love of the show. Lacy was escorted down the aisle by her father, Chris. And situation-handler Chris Harrison officiated the ceremony. The two tearfully deliver their heartfelt handwritten vows to one another.

After the wedding the cast of BiP begin their mating rituals.

We learn that Ashley and her sister are competing together.

So we have our very first sibling tag team and they will compete as a “package deal” on BiP. A-mazing!

Apparently the sisters have been in to the same guy four times and Ashley says she starts them and Lauren says she “finishes them” WHAAAAT??!

Sister Lauren Iaconetti is all over the place. She seems somewhat interested in Dan Cox, but overall seems totally uninterested in anyone there and in a big hurry to get home–good luck Ashley! Maybe that’s because she has a boyfriend at home!!!

Jillian Anderson shows up in a bright yellow bikini with a brand new boob job.

Shockingly Jade Roper who appeared interested in Jared asks out Tanner which I think is perfect because they can both discuss their arrest records. I love how Tanner refers to Jade as the “king-pin” that everyone wants. I guess everyone wants to “hit” that pin. I can’t believe the guys are not turned off by her scandalous Playboy past!!!

Just kidding I was actually hoping Jade would be cast on BiP so she could break the “horrible” news to each guy who asks her out so we could watch their reactions—sheer horror of course.jade-tanner

Tanner is way in to Jade and takes a subtle dig at Kaitlyn. “I’m already feeling more of a connection with Jade in one night than I did with Kaitlyn the entire season.” Ouch!!!!

Ashley I immediately calls dibs on Jared Haibon who is still reeling from his painful break up with Kaitlyn Bristowe a month earlier. She asks out Jared right away and in the words of JJ Lane,

“Jared looks like he would rather take a back-alley beating with a plumber’s wrench than go on this date.”

But Jared perks up and goes off-roading with Ashley and appears to have a pretty good time. Ashley is smitten and ready to throw away her virginity. In fact previews show Ashley telling Chris Harrison that she would like to pre-order a night in a Fantasy Suite.

Carly Waddell and Kirk DeWindt are adorable. They hit it off on night one and never look back.

Ashley Salter is pretty MIA the entire time but appears in the end being carried off in an ambulance for a mystery illness. Dan Cox chases after her and the two have a date in the hospital.

Here is the tentative cast list thus far.

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Photo Sources: ABC

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