Welcome to Penny Farthing’s micro recap. These will be the opposite of the typical War and Peace-length recaps that a lot of bloggers out there are doing. I mean…some of these bloggers even include commentary on the commercials that air during the franchise’s two-hour Monday time slot!
I prefer to read a recap that takes less than the show’s running time to get through. So, we’re providing an alternative for those of you (like us) that prefer to read fun, quick recaps. If you’d like to read longer tomes, we do have some favorite (lengthy) Bachelor/ette bloggers we can refer you to — just ask!
Bachelor Pad 3 recap episode 7
GOOD-NESS! Let me start with the biggest situation from this week’s episode: After the Night Ranger performance challenge was over, we saw Chris Bukowski and Sarah Newlon fretting a bit back stage in their dressing room. And, lo and behold, I was STUNNED to see that the Bachelor producers that are seemingly in charge of MANSCAPING all of the male contestants seemed to have snoozed on the job because: Chris Bukowski had CHEST STUBBLE! The fact that 98% of the dudes on these shows are manscaped is a situation in and of itself, but, if you’re going to manscape, then, for the love of God, keep it SCAPED and don’t let the stubble start growing in on national television! There’s absolutely nothing worse than man chest stubble.
I was so traumatized by Chris’ chest stubble that I almost forgot everything else I was going to write about this week! But, here are some other high(low)lights:
1) Sarah Newlon is a bigger fan of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad than I am because I wouldn’t have known 75% of the answers to the swings-over-the-pool challenge questions. Either that, or she just has a really, really, really good memory and I don’t. I mean, she kicked butt on that challenge!! It was pretty amazing.
2) During the Blakeley-Tony limo exit, it was painfully obvious that Tony is WAY MORE into Blakeley than Blakeley is into Tony. He kinda gushed and poured his heart out and she returned his emotional outpouring with something like: “yeah, there were several unexpected things that happened on the show and you’re one of them.” I mean – considering the rumors out there that these two are now engaged, I thought I’d see a bit more EMOTION from her (besides the inconsolable emotion she showed when she lost her chance at winning some cash.)
3) The Night Ranger performances were AW-FUL. I wouldn’t call myself an amazing speller or singer, but, after this season of Bachelor Pad, I’ve decided that I practically have a PHd in both. My favorite quote from the performances came from Ed, when he said Sarah Newlon looked like a “monkey being electrocuted on stage by a thunder bolt.” HAHA!
4) Between the big Night Ranger loss and getting the boot at the end of the episode, it’s official: Jaclyn Swartz is the UGLIEST crier out there. Some people look pretty when they cry. Some people look a bit “eh” when they cry. Jaclyn…..looks. just. awful. Taking second place in the “ugliest crier” category is still Casey Shteamer from Ben Flajnik’s season of The Bachelor. Remember that CRY? That scrunchy-faced cry? EPIC!
5) Nick Peterson has been such a ninja this season! I was surprised by how strong and strategic he became this week… and so late in the season! So strong and strategic, in fact, that he’s in the final four to win $250,ooo!!!
We can’t wait till next Monday night’s Big Finale!!