On part 2 of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion Tom Sandoval contends that girlfriend Kristen Doute has Borderline personality disorder (BPD), which I have to admit I actually had thought prior to anyone saying anything.
‘I feel its a psychological problem. You can read the symptoms for BPD. Kristen it describes your actions to a tee, it describes your behavior to a tee.’
He is right– her behavior is classic BPD–the constant pushing and pulling with Tom and the pattern of marked impulsivity and instability.
When I heard the story of her giving Jax oral sex while Tom was in the other room and her initiating the action an alarm went off in my head.
That is classic behavior of a BPD person. They are very sexual in an impersonal way, while they disengage from the person they supposedly love. They are hypersexual with strangers or acquaintances, but become celibate with relationship partners. BTW Jax has his own ‘psychological’ problems—when a BPD meets a sex addict–watch out–someone is gonna get laid.
This whole show is like a case study in abnormal psychology!
Also Kristen having sex with Tom’s friend James Kennedy in Tom’s bed with his condoms was also classic BPD. They have serious problems with boundaries. Yes both Kristen and Tom cheated, but Kristen’s cheating was more of a betrayal and showed a serious lack of boundaries. Tom’s cheating was more typical of how one cheats when one is in an unhappy relationship.
Tom also often talked about how Kristen would not have sex with him or even sleep in the same bed. We learned the two would go for months with no sexual contact.
Kristen did not even “like” Jax so why the bl@wj@b? They also had sex without “kissing”–Ironic since Tom’s cheating was “kissing”. Kristen wanted sex without intimacy. Tom was not getting intimacy and he sought it somewhere else.
BPDs have intense fears of shame and abandonment and oscillate between narcissism and complete self-hatred, often engaging in physically destructive behavior like cutting or bulimia or drugs and alcohol. They also shift from love to hate from positive to negative after a disappointment and a perceived threat of losing someone. The behavior is sometimes called splitting because of the dramatic shift.
BPDs can also turn it ON and turn it OFF. They will leave a partner high and dry and wondering what happened while they seamlessly move on to a new obsession without first processing and getting over the first.
It’s important to note that people with BPD almost ALWAYS have suffered severe trauma or abuse at a young age, around the age of three. I strongly suspect Kristen suffered from some sort of sexual abuse as a child. There is a bit of disagreement over whether the condition can be cured or not. Right now professionals ‘manage’ the condition.
When the person experiences the trauma the brain shuts down and stops developing emotionally in order to protect themselves. In short, even though they are grown adults, often very successful, they are still 3-year-olds emotionally, deathly afraid of being abandoned.
Hopefully more help will become available and more will be known about this condition soon.
The last time we made a very unprofessional diagnosis of someone on a reality TV show, it was Courtney Robertson on The Bachelor–who also hooked up with Jax Taylor BTW!!!
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