Ok, so all season of Vanderpump Rules I have been trying to figure out Tom Sandoval‘s enneagram number. I mean the LA actor/model thing would suggest a 3 –The Charmer or even a 4 — The Artist, but somehow that did not quite fit with Tom.
Even though he does like to wear his foundation and mascara, believe it or not I really do not think he is a 3. Threes are typically the ones MOST concerned about their image, clothes, hair, make-up, etc. LA is packed full of 3’s.
I didn’t figure it out until Kristen Doute confessed to having sex with Jax and saw HOW Tom handled it. Remember how he stood by her side and said that he needed to support her because he knew no one else would? Ok, that was key. Tom IMHO is a 6 — the Loyalist. His loyalty is clearly his best and worst attribute. Sixes will go down with the ship. They are loyal to the end.
Yes Tom cheated, but we need to understand the circumstances of his cheating. As he explained it was only after Kristen had not been intimate with him for months.
Most boyfriends would have kicked Kristen to the curb after finding out she cheated with his best friend, but the 6 still feels that need to be loyal and stand by their partner despite a clear betrayal. They will often hang on to a relationship way longer than they should. He also never directed his anger at her. He directed his anger at Jax when Kristen was more culpable.
Sixes are also very sensitive when they are stabbed in the back because they believe others are as loyal as they are. Tom was clearly really hurt by his friends betrayal.
Tom is also clearly dedicated to his job and his duties–much more dedicated than Jax.
Again their loyalty is their best and their worst quality. I suspect if Ariana had not been around Tom may have not made the clear break from Kristen. The recent report that Kristen came on to Tom in a hotel in NYC and Tom secretly filmed the advances and then called new girlfriend Ariana shows a strong shift in loyalty to new girlfriend Ariana. I also suspect Ariana advised him to do that–but also the question remains why did he allow Kristen into his hotel room in the first place?–a strong sense of loyalty I suspect.
Tom posted a rant on Instagram after Kristen went to the tabloids to say they made out post-break-up. But he immediately took it down–showing despite everything he STILL feels a strong loyalty to Kristen.
HOWEVER, if Tom isn’t careful this continued and undeserved loyalty to Kristen could ruin his new relationship. Sixes need to learn when the person they are loyal to has crossed the line. They have to learn to cut ties and that is tough for the 6 especially if they feel that that person needs them. They will sacrifice their own well-being even their own lives to support someone at their own peril.
Personally, I like the descriptions of the enneagram institute. I do not however trust their test. I just tell people when you find your number you will know–forget the tests.
‘Sixes are the most loyal to their friends and to their beliefs. They will “go down with the ship” and hang on to relationships of all kinds far longer than most other types. Sixes are also loyal to ideas, systems, and beliefs—even to the belief that all ideas or authorities should be questioned or defied.’
‘Indeed, not all Sixes go along with the “status quo”: their beliefs may be rebellious and anti-authoritarian, even revolutionary. In any case, they will typically fight for their beliefs more fiercely than they will fight for themselves, and they will defend their community or family more tenaciously than they will defend themselves.’
Tom definitely was defending Kristen more tenaciously than he was defending himself. He better watch this.
Ok, so let’s move on to Ariana Madix:
As far as new girlfriend Ariana Madix. That’s a tough one because I have seen so little of her, but from what I have seen I think she is a 1, the Perfectionist/Reformer. The 1 can be incredibly fair-minded when they are healthy. They are like a voice of reason, very honest, ethical, crusaders, wise and discerning– they can be morally heroic.
I know a lot of people will disagree with me and say, but she cheated…how is that morally heroic? Right, ones are not perfect, but I still think one.
As with all the numbers their strength is also their weakness. The 1 can be very judgmental and resentful, critical and perfectionistic when not healthy. When they are good they are excellent crusaders for justice and for others, but when unhealthy they will also champion the wrong people and will hang on way too long.
They are often most judgmental of themselves and this can be problematic because they will doubt themselves when they are right and will deny themselves pleasure.
The way Ariana handled herself seemed very uno to me. She was calm, cool and collected. When she spoke about the Kristen situation she delivered such a profound and fair assessment of the situation it was quite beautiful and impressive. She seems pretty healthy to me, although I have seen so little of her it is hard to tell.
I think she is good for Tom because she can provide some moral guidance and stability to him during this tough time.
I think they are telling the truth that they only kissed and I suspect Ariana beat herself up for that for a long time. But I bet she has had real feelings for Tom for a long time, but her morals would not allow her to cross that line with him.
Ok so what happens when a 1 and a 6 date:
Well the two are very similar, very ethical, committed to their ideals and will fight to the end. They are both extremely hard workers, conscientious, and have a strong sense of duty and honor. In a relationship I would imagine the two would be extremely loyal and committed to one another.
Ones bring a strong sense of clarity and reason (ding, ding, ding), and can provide great moral guidance to the 6. The 1 will also give the 6 a lot of room to work out their issues–aka closing the relationship with Kristen.
Sixes will be warm and generous and emotionally available with the one. They will be loyal, faithful and extremely endearing. Sixes make excellent life partners. You can count on them more than anyone else. The two together would make a very steady and dynamic couple.
Of course the big question for us fans is, can they bring the situations like Tom and Kristen did? And I suspect they can’t because I am guessing this relationship will contain far less drama and be much too stable to us fans who need a lot of drama and situational pandemonium to stay engaged.